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• Introduction
• Main characters
• Mom and Dad's Marriage
• Dad Coming Out Part 1

• Dad Coming Out Part 2
• Pitfalls of Being out to Your Kid
• Observations on the weirdness of the scene
• The Order for Discipline and Service

• Lessons Learned
• Questions
• Supporting Cast

• This is not some weird non-consensual Gestalt therapy trap
• Take a hard look at what worked and did not work
• Encourage discussion between kinky parents about parenting
• Provide you food for thought

• This is an intensely personal topic, feel free to ask whatever questions you want but understand I may choose not to answer at all or in public
• If I leave someone's name out of this presentation or use a pseudonym that choice was intentional
• Do not internet detective any of these people

• Alive and kicking, now retired
• From a different part of the alt-sex world
• Happily remarried as of 2002
• We have a great relationship and see each other once or twice per month
• She's not a focus of discussion for this talk

• Harvey John "Jack" McGeorge II, (9/29/1949 - 8/18/2009)
• USMC (EOD), Secret Service, United Nations (UNMOVIC)
• Cofounder of Black Rose, officier of Leather Leadership Conference, NCSF
• Leather Archives and Museum Centurion award, Pantheon of Leather Man of the Year
• His Wikipedia link
• Fun fact: entered the scene as a submissive, died indentifying as a master

• Alex McGeorge
• Late 30s
• Generally turned out ok
• Professional CV: LinkedIn
• Kink CV: FetLife - TexArcana
• Why I don't use a scene name

• DC based BDSM Educational and Social organization: website
• Organization Dad help to found in 1987, still around today!
• Held almost every board and officer position
• Was active with the organization through the year of his death

• Met in summer of 1978 through a mutual friend
• Started long distance relationship NJ/VA, moved in together Nov/78
• Married January 1981
• I was born in 1982

• Complex set of reasons: business, differing sexualities
• Separated in summer of 1988
• Formally divorced Feb/1990
• Mother retained primary custody, alternating weekends, weekly dinner with Dad

• Dad was doing WHAT in the garage?
• So much nudism
• PALS
• 'Age appropriate' is hard to nail down

• What once was just a basement
• A bit of DC leather/kink history
• The dresser drawer accord

• Late elementary / early middle school era
• Lolita / Woody / Andrea
• Jack's House for Wayward Women
• See section 11 for bios

• Unavoidable information leakage from the great below
• Weird long term consequences

• Let's talk about consent!
• Began by building a case for free will
• A lighthearted romp through the nervous system and biology
• Strong foundation in 90's Libertarianism

• What do you think, why do you think it
• "We will sit in this car until we're done talking"

• Some people who have struggled with their interest in BDSM fall rapidly in love with the scene
• They are so happy to have found a place that finally accepts this part of who they are they tend to obsess on it
• Similar to: SCA/RenFest, Cosplay

• It became normal to talk a lot about his sex life
• Very few good things have ever come about by saying a teenager is "super mature" for their age when it comes to sexuality
• Chicago Hellfire's Inferno story

• Generally it's understood that asking kids to keep secrets is bad
• Kids need other kids to talk about life with

• A story about a kinky family BBQ
• Howlin' forever
• It's common to view kids as tiny-adults

• Dad's broken back and sarcoidosis: diagnosis ~1994
• Dad's first CABG: Summer 2005
• Good slaves/submissives bring resources to a problem, we had an abudance of good s-types rotating through Dad's house
• Masters are for more than just providing direction
• Every conceivable type of support was provided

• Connecting with scene people as an adult has been incredibly rewarding
• Of the 10 most important people in my life, most are involved in BDSM

• Started down the MS path in early 2000s with Slave S.
• Original ODS members: Jack, Woody, Justin, Elizabeth, Raven
• 1/4 of the basement was converted into living quarters
• Some lived at the house, others not, all had jobs outside the house
• Guiding principles codified into a household manual

• If BDSM impacts your life more than in your bedroom it will have an inescapable effect on those close to you
• It is an odd feeling to be so affected by something you are not a part of yet you are very intimate with
• A story: Please don't call me Sir

• Dad's final heart operation: 8/17/2009, death: 8/18/2009, 10:15AM
• A story: Harry Truman euphamisms
• Good slaves bring a lot of resources to a problem
• There are some unique needs for people in that lifestyle

Things I Found

• Accoutrements for a kink I didn't know he had
• ~20 guns and about 11,000 rounds of ammo (flachettes up to 20mm anti-armor)
• A live stick of dynamite
• So so so much porn and BDSM paper ephemera

• You want things to be better for your kids and you know more than the average human about sex
• It's totally great to share your knowledge, but be sure you understand the question they're asking
• And most importantly how much of an answer they're looking for

• Everyone in this room likely identifies as 'weird'
• You could come up with a list of things right now that would be 'wrong' to talk to your kids about
• What is and is not appropriate within your parent/child relationship?

• It's very easy to interpret your child's behavior through the lense of BDSM
• It's also super easy to interpret the world around you that way
• Don't get lost in the woods of the scene

• A truth: When you die, if your kids have access to your stuff they will learn more about you than you ever intended
• You can choose to get out ahead of that via a conversation and/or planning
• You can choose to #yolo that since you'll be dead #RIP
• No matter how much talking or planning you do, you'll miss something, forgive yourself in advance

• Legend of the NYC leather scene

• Joined the house fresh out of college
• Worked with special needs children, is now a medical professional
• Once tested the limits of the Marlyand Renaissance Faire by wearing just a burlap sack

• 10/13/1962 - 9/4/2014
• Joined the house in her early 30s
• BFA from SUNY Buffalo State
• Founding or early member of many Baltimore and DC leather organizations

• Ivy league education, holds Doctorate of Divinity, working on Ph.D
• Happily married as of 2015 and living on the west coast with his husband Henry

• Educated at one of the Seven Sisters
• One daughter who is a good friend
• Negotiations began: March/2003
• Under formal consideration as a slave: May/2003
• Collared: Nov/2003

• Background in Law Enforcement
• Currently working in Vetrinary Medicine
• Very active in the M/s world